The Truth About Favre

Why didn’t he just tell the truth…sort of like this:

“Hi, my name is Brett Favre.  I used to be the starting quarterback for the Green Bay Packers of the NFL.  Under my leadership, I turned the Packers from an also-ran to one of the elite franchises in NFL history.  After a bunch of years of messing with the GM over whether or not I was going to retire, those bastards decided that they could do without me and handed the starting job to that other dude.  What’s his name, Derek or Ray or something? 

Anyways, I’m still mad that they did that.  After all, I’m the MAN.  How dare they not let me unretire for the second or third time?  They should know that the real issue is that the new coach didn’t let me make all the decisions, and that riled me, and I was just trying to assert my rightful place as the unquestioned leader of the franchise.  Plus, I don’t really like training camp.  Give me three warm-up throws and a couple 11 on 11 drills, and I’m good to go.   That’s how awesome a player and person I really am.

So now you understand why I got mad.  I am DYING to get back into that stadium and soak up all of the wild cheering of my adoring fans.  Plus, I want to show those lousy bastards in Green Bay’s front office that they messed with the wrong dude; that I am NOT washed up and they shouldn’t have let me go in the first place.  And please, don’t judge me based on that year in New York.  I wasn’t really motivated enough there.  I only even agreed to go there because it was the easiest way to keep my name in the news.  Plus, there were all these restrictions in the agreement between the Packers and the Jets that prevented me from going to the Vikings like I wanted to, so I had to play SOMEWHERE for a year. 

Now that my year in purgatory is over, I am psyched to play against the Packers for the Vikings.  I know, I know, it seems that this is kinda late in the summer to finally make the move, but who really needs training camp anyways?  😉  I can’t wait to walk into Lambeau Field and light it up.  So to all of my fans, I say watch me!  It’s going to be an awesome year!  And to the Green Bay Packers’ coaches and management:  SCREW YOU!!!”


One Response to “The Truth About Favre”

  1. Alan Says:

    I often wonder how other NFL players feel about what he does. In some ways, he is a lot like T.O. in that he wants to be center stage and will do anything for attention. If he is worried about being bored in his retirement, there are plenty of things he can do to keep busy without being a drama queen about it.

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