damn you otis

Today was the big day!  We brought home the newest addition to the family, Erin, from the hospital.  Mercy Hospital, down there in the heart of Jimmy Griffin’s South Buffalo, where all good Irishmen take their wives to have babies.  The staff, doctors, and especially the nurses were fabulous.  Professional, nice, fun, competent, and everything you could ask for.  The room was decent, and though it was a double there was no one else in there.  The only things that I could possibly find to be sub-par were the elevators.  It seems that one of the main visitors’ elevators was broken, so the remaining two were WAY overloaded and took forever to get anywhere.  No big deal, you say, because the stairs work, right?  Sure.  They’re great.  When you’re carrying a suitcase and flowers and a blanket and a Mary Kay make-up organizer the stairs are the shortest route.  Sure.

Now to avoid even the slightest hint of a parking ticket, I parked in the ramp.  Which has six levels.  And having arrived at the off hour of high noon, I got to enjoy the sunshine on the sixth level.  So maybe I’m not an expert in the field of parking ramp physics and how that relates to elevators, but is there some reason the elevator can not actually go to the sixth level?  Do the numbers only go up to 5 in that particular model of elevator?  By the time I got to the minivan (my wife’s, in case you were wondering) I was sucking some ice cold wind.

So then everything went smoothly.  I parked the van in the circle with the knowledge and permission and under the close supervision of the security staff (no sense taking ANY chances in the city) and went back up the stairs to get the rest of my family.  Because technically my wife was still a patient and there’s no way they’ll allow a patient to WALK out of the hospital, we rolled her, in a wheelchair and holding Erin, down to the elevators for patients.  And they took forever too. 

I think we’ll all have to pray to Father Baker for his intercession in this most serious of matters.  And then maybe, just maybe, faster elevators will be the miracle that puts him over the top into sainthood. 🙂

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